What Will Happen at The Emmys - Not!

From the Long Island Press:

"1. Host Ellen DeGeneres will go back into the closet.

2. ER and The West Wing will both get very drunk and start a fistfight, and be asked to leave.

3. Desperate Housewives will win "Outstanding Comedy Series" and the cast of Arrested Development will commit ritual suicide.

4. After 24 gets snubbed for all five nominations, Kiefer Sutherland will announce that a terrorist has planted a bomb in the building, and in the confusion, steal one of Ray Romano's Emmys.

5. Somewhere in America, someone will actually care about the Emmys."